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humor:marriage_jokes [2018/03/19 19:56] reb |
humor:marriage_jokes [2018/03/25 05:01] (current) reb |
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❤ A three ring circus is engagement ring, wedding ring, then suffer-ing.\\ | ❤ A three ring circus is engagement ring, wedding ring, then suffer-ing.\\ | ||
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- | ❤ A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.\\ | + | ❤ A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. |
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+ | .\\ | ||
+ | ❤ My husband yaps so much his tongue got sunburnt, so I bandaged his mouth shut. \\ | ||
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❤ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield\\ | ❤ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield\\ | ||
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❤ A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. | ❤ A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. | ||
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+ | ❤ My wife is a doctor, but her patients are sick, I told her it must be her face.\\ | ||
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+ | ❤ I never thought I'd be glad to see her again, and you know what, I'm not. | ||
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- | ❤ A man said he loves his wifes beautiful defects, a woman says her defects kept her from a marrying a beautiful man.\\ | + | ❤ A man loves his wives defects, a woman says her defects kept her from a marrying a useful man.\\ |
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❤ Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence - a life sentence.\\ | ❤ Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence - a life sentence.\\ | ||
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❤ A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland\\ | ❤ A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland\\ | ||
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- | ❤ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie\\ | + | ❤ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie\\ |
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- | ❤ Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.\\ | + | ❤ Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.\\ |
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- | ❤ By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates\\ | + | ❤ By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates\\ |
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❤ Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.\\ | ❤ Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.\\ | ||
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- | ❤ Jill: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee. Jack: If you were my wife I'd drink it. | + | ❤ Jill: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee. Jack: If you were my wife I'd drink it.\\ |
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+ | ❤ Marriage is an institution, who wants to live in one of those? - Groucho Marx. Submitted by Tim Ehnstrom of Springfield MA. | ||
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