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humor:marriage_jokes [2018/03/19 19:56]
reb
humor:marriage_jokes [2018/03/25 05:01] (current)
reb
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 ❤ A three ring circus is engagement ring, wedding ring, then suffer-ing.\\ ❤ A three ring circus is engagement ring, wedding ring, then suffer-ing.\\
 .\\ .\\
-❤ A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.\\+❤ A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong
 + 
 +.\\ 
 +❤ My husband yaps so much his tongue got sunburnt, so I bandaged his mouth shut. \\
 .\\ .\\
 ❤ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield\\ ❤ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield\\
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 ❤ A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. ❤ A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
 +
 +.\\
 +❤ My wife is a doctor, but her patients are sick, I told her it must be her face.\\
 +.\\
 +❤ I never thought I'd be glad to see her again, and you know what, I'm not.
  
 . .
  
-❤ A man said he loves his wifes beautiful ​defects, a woman says her defects kept her from a marrying a beautiful ​man.\\+❤ A man loves his wives defects, a woman says her defects kept her from a marrying a useful ​man.\\
 .\\ .\\
 ❤ Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence - a life sentence.\\ ❤ Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence - a life sentence.\\
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 ❤ A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland\\ ❤ A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland\\
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-​​​​​​​ ​An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie\\+❤ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie\\
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-​​​​​​​ ​Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.\\+❤ Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.\\
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-​​​​​​​ ​By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates\\+❤ By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates\\
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 ❤​​​​​​​ Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.\\ ❤​​​​​​​ Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.\\
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-❤​​​​ Jill: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee. Jack: If you were my wife I'd drink it.+❤​​​​ Jill: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee. Jack: If you were my wife I'd drink it.\\ 
 +
 + 
 +❤​​ Marriage is an institution,​ who wants to live in one of those? - Groucho Marx. Submitted by Tim Ehnstrom of Springfield MA.
  
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humor/marriage_jokes.1521489393.txt.gz · Last modified: 2018/03/19 19:56 by reb